I Recognize Those Desperate Eyes

They are searching and longing
For love and other things
Rejection and betrayal were frequent guests.

They say time is meant to heal.
why does it still hurt so bad?

I raised me hand eagerly
To hand you my own love
on a pretty little plate

Let me give you all I have
And gladly
Because a greater love has loved me
So I will love you
And take away your desperation
If God wills

But I can't get you out of the sunlight
And I can't get you out of the rain
I can't get you anywhere you should be

I try
and try
and try


and then I realize those desperate eyes are mine...

Sadness was always my strength...

It's weird to think that I'm good at being sad. I even like being sad. I could be a poster child for Cymbalta. There aren't a lot of sad things that happen to me...really.

But still the sadness chases me. And now, in the stress of it all that is life, I am caught once again in my sad complacency. Enveloped yet empowered. A strange mix.

People have a strong desire to be heard and understood. So strong, that it becomes the center of their world, and thus should also be the center of my world. Yes, you matter, but my universe does not revolve around you. Please don't drag me down to your dark kingdom of me-ness. I've got my own castle to secure darlin. Please don't strip me of my own selfishness. I'm all I've got left, don't ya know? You keep me spiralling down...down...down...