I am making decisions based on who I want to be, not on who I am. To some this may seem foolish. But when you are currently a passive party-pooping pushover with dreams of being assertive and adventurous, it makes sense.
I have a dilemma. I have to make a decision. I could live two different lives. I could go where people want me or I could go where I don't know anyone or whats going to happen to me. Hmm. Knowing me, I'd pick the former. Predictable.
What scares me the most is the unknown. I don't consider myself a controllist but I like to have an idea of what's going to happen to me. Otherwise the anxiety controls me.
I guess somewhere in their lives people find that they want to be different. They just don't know how. I know I want to be different. And maybe I know how now.
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