You get a prize for being born.

I'm going to talk about my [old] job...again.
Fact: I put my whole heart into that job. It had everything I'd been craving from anyone and not getting.
1. I was needed.
2. I was wanted.
3. I was loved.
4. I worked hard.
5. I was satisfied.
6. I wanted to be there.
7. I was happy.

I put most of my identity into working. And now its gone. I did it to myself. I knew what I was doing. I knew I was leaving.
I knew...

Sigh.

I miss it.

And now I'm about to start all that over again somewhere else that's not new. That's not Portland.

I'm blogging in an attempt to clarify anything I'm feeling and it is failing.